The Helix of a Year

It's that time of the year again. And in fact it is so imminent and a surety every year that I can only draw an analogy with a doggy's heat period, or me scoring a zero in at least one test out of the ten I take.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't try to avoid this from happening. In fact I have had more chances than others to avoid this event from unfolding every single year. But more like a conscript, I am always pulled in to this black hole.

Imagine it like this. let's look at it from 365 days away. In other words, the day has just passed, and I am resolved to make sure that this doesn't happen the next year. And now I am working towards it, slowly slowly revolving and gravitating towards the center of the helix, which is the 366th day, or exactly one year away...

If you guessed that to be the CAT test (or rather flunking in it), heheh think again. Although ur guess is a worthy second, it is a wee bit away from the actual numero uno. I am talking about Valentine's day, and the fact that no matter what I do across the year, no matter how many relationships i build around the year somehow, always, incorrigibly, I am always rendered alone by the time 14th feb arrives. And I am as nonplussed about it as your are! The only good thing I learnt from it is that I can be ruthlessly accurate and consistent in my performance.

Well Whatever is the big deal about 14th of feb anyways... I usually am in a hangover after celebrating my bro's birthday, and am mostly not in a position to shift gears to the other love in my life. (umm if she is still around that is). But usually the way it happens is this...


Date : 14th march,
One Month past from the last debacle:
I am thinking about this girl next door. She is pretty and seems to have a charm about herself. (I didn't quite think this way 2 months back, but desperate times call, ahem, for desperate measures)

3 Months past:

I see this girl in my parking lot again! I smile at her, and she smiles back!!! (think of sumthing funny think of sumthing funny!), and I crack a one liner joke. She ignores and goes away. (shit).


3 and a half months past:

I see this girl at the grocery store, and, although I don't have to buy that thing, I go to there to buy that anyways... after all, what if I run out of it sooner than I thought? I ask for a diff brand and specifically say that I don't want the brand this girl bought... It worked!!! she asks me whats wrong with her brand! :D (yahooo) and I tell her of the wildest ever criticism of that brand and that company. We walk back to our society together, and talk about loads of things right from what she is doing and what she wants to do, to the weird security guard we have and the creepy noises that come from his room in the night when we are out for a night walk... I find out if she is on orkut, she is :D


4 Months past :

we have been scrapping regularly on orkut, and have become pretty updated on each other now... I open another tab on Mozilla and find out the latest movies in Delhi. Tell her that I have 3 4 tickets with me and i can give her 2 if she wanted... rest is .. history :D


10 Months past, 2 more to go for Valentines day:

Well we have been going around for all that while now, but I am not sure if I rlly like her.. I mean she is good for a time pass, but thats just about it... She has been cozying up a lot and I am not tooo comfortable about that! I now begin to slip out of this by making excuses. lame ones even by my 10 year old cousin's standards... but i still go ahead. There is a fight back.. she tries to hold on, and that freaks me out even more!.. This goes on for a fortnight....

11 Months past, 1 one month to Valentines day:

She calls me and confronts me directly. 'You have been trying to avoid me for the last 2 months now. What have I done!'... umm errr.. I cannot say to her that she isn't ALL that interesting. can I!?

I dodge the question, and give her global gyaan about how the world is changing and that there is a recession in the offing, and I am working hard to save for the rainy day. She doesn't buy. I then say that sometimes relationships are better taken slowly and gradually.. we are great friends, and I think I was taking a lil too much of you. I wanted to make sure that I don't step into your space, coz I respect a woman of your caliber...

This is the final sentence she says to me:

"You are a Dog".

(As if I didn't know that)

12 months past: date 14th feb

I gifted my bro the best thing I could buy, and revel in his happiness. but somewhere, I wish I had someone I could gift today and spend this day dreaming about the life to come with someone...


And then I resolve that I wouldn't let this happen again, and step into the helix again...